10 powerful ways to respond to put downs and insults.
When someone tries to insult you or put you down in front of others, it’s usually because of jealousy, competition, or something about you that bothers them.
They want to make you look bad and get your negative reaction.
Don’t fall for it or let them drag you down to their level.
Stay calm, take a breath, and here are 10 ways to respond:
1. “What are you hoping to achieve by saying that?“
Example (Workplace):
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Situation: A colleague says, “That’s such a basic idea, as always.”
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Response: “What are you hoping to achieve by saying that?”
Why it works: It shifts the focus back onto their intentions, forcing them to reflect on their behavior. It subtly challenges their comment without being aggressive, and gives them a chance to clarify.
2. “Anything interesting to add?“
Example (Social):
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Situation: A friend says, “You’re really bad at when it comes to thinking.”
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Response: “Anything interesting to add?”
Why it works: This response dismisses their insult as unimportant and redirects the conversation. It shows confidence and indifference. You’ll be indirectly telling them “please say something interesting…” without directly saying it 🙂
3. I’ll take that as a compliment, this time.
Example (Family):
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Situation: A sibling says, “Well, you actually did something useful for once!”
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Response: “I’ll take that as a compliment, this time.”
Why it works: Especially when it’s a backhanded compliment, by re-framing as if they really meant it as a compliment, you take away their power and maintain control of the interaction. Adding “this time” sets a boundary.
“If you want to know more how to effectively apply it in the workplace, then have a look at my course” ❤️
“If you want to know more how to effectively apply it in the workplace, then have a look at my course” ❤️
4. “Are you trying to be helpful? Or harmful?“
Example (Workplace):
- Situation: A coworker says, “You’re always delaying my work! Why are you slow like that?”
- Response: “Are you trying to be helpful? Or harmful?”
Why it works: This directly questions their intent, calling out their behavior in a neutral yet assertive way. It leaves them to justify themselves.
5. “Was that meant to be an insult?”
Example (Social):
- Situation: A friend says, “You’re surprisingly not awful at this game… Unusual”
- Response: “Was that meant to be an insult?”
Why it works: This exposes their comment for what it is without being overly defensive. It’s a subtle way to highlight the negativity behind their words.
6. “Do you feel better now?“
Example (Family):
- Situation: A parent says, “You never even try to do things right! Not even once you in you life…”
- Response: “Do you feel better now?”
Why it works: It calls out their behavior as an attempt to boost themselves at your expense. It often diffuses the situation by making them reflect on their actions.
“If you want to know more how to effectively apply it in the workplace, then have a look at my course” ❤️
“If you want to know more how to effectively apply it in the workplace, then have a look at my course” ❤️
7. “Wow, I didn’t expect that from you.”
Example (Social):
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Situation: A friend says, “You’re so dramatic about everything.”
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Response: “Wow, I didn’t expect that from you.”
Why it works: This response signals disappointment, which can be more impactful than anger. It catches them off guard and shifts the emotional tone.
8. “I’m curious—what made you say that?”
Example (Workplace):
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Situation: A colleague says, “You’re not really understanding this project, are you?”
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Response: “I’m curious—what made you say that?”
Why it works: This disarms them by turning the focus onto their motivations. It shows you’re calm and in control while subtly making them accountable.
9. T”hat’s a strange thing to say…”
Example (Family):
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Situation: A cousin says, “You’ve never been good at keeping things clean or organized.”
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Response: “That’s a strange thing to say…It sounds more like an attack.”
Why it works: It labels their comment as unusual or inappropriate, without escalating the conflict. It puts the spotlight on their behavior.
10. “Do you talk to everyone like that?“
Example (Workplace):
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Situation: A coworker says, “How come your presentations are always so boring.”
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Response: “Do you talk to everyone like that?”
Why it works: This subtly points out that their behavior might be a pattern, making them self-conscious about their attitude. It’s non-confrontational but effective.
Remember, everyone is watching.
These responses make you appear confident and professional. They also shift the power dynamic by putting the other person in an awkward position, making them think twice before insulting you again.
“If you want to know more how to effectively apply it in the workplace, then have a look at my course” ❤️
“If you want to know more how to effectively apply it in the workplace, then have a look at my course” ❤️